Monday, May 5, 2014

Hindering Helping Hands


Our culture tends to preach independence. (Doing your own thing, being your own person, taking care of yourself, etc.) Women especially are thrown an array of "suggestions" to take life my the reins and live their lives on their own dollar.

I'd like to make it clear that I have no disrespect for any person who can effectively take care of themselves. That notion in itself is not a bad thing. My concern stems from the fact that it seems independence is forced upon us to the point that having help from someone who (in my opinion) should help you is looked down upon. We complain when things are messy, we grumble about how we feel sorry for ourselves and we make lists of the overwhelming set of tasks we must accomplish as we smile and proudly deny any offer of help. The truth is we can likely accomplish what needs to be done on our own.. but I think we should all ask ourselves what we are missing out on when we don't allow others to help us. No one should have to be alone in their efforts and goals but how often have you backed yourself into that corner? What is so wrong with being taken care of by someone who loves you?

Being helpful and kind have never been things that are looked down upon. I feel certain that most people have someone in their lives who wants to take care of them to some degree and that is the kind of thing that should never be taken for granted. I fear that in being drastically independent we are inadvertently conditioning others to stop offering help. How many times would it take you to stop asking if you were always met with a bold refusal? I'd venture to say that the more we tell others their help is not necessarily the less likely they are to want to help. I believe people start to assume that you would rather do things on your own and that hinders them from an opportunity to help. How far fetched is it to say that by trying to take on everything alone you are teaching the world around that not kindly helping is perfectly acceptable? I think the two are very closely related

 The fact is that it goes both ways. I've yet to meet a single person in my life who does not have the need to be independent at times. It is also a true statement that I have yet to meet a person who has never needed help. To want both is human... to fight both is human.

Finding the balance... that's what is difficult.
It can start with something as simple as a smile. Don't let one end with you.
Open the door. Give up your seat. Help clean up. When you're able, go out of your way to do something nice for someone.. and not only that...

Allow nice things to be done for you!



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